Now’s a Great Time For a ‘Friendship Audit’
- association, close friends, friend, Friendship, friendship audit, wisdom
- November 16, 2014
Friend /frend/- noun:
1. An annoying person who is not related to you by blood, but who manages to know just how annoying you can be, and yet admires you as much as you admire them and enjoys spending time with you just as you enjoy spending time with them.
Except you’re a …….(I don’t even know what to call you), you’ve got friends or at least ONE friend. And regardless of whether or not you agree with my definition of who a friend is ( I don’t see why you shouldn’t 😉 ), I can tell you with all confidence, that your life is the way it is right now largely because of the kinds of people whom you have chosen to become your friends.
How did your friends end up having such a strong influence on your life? They did so by feeding you with ideas, words, actions and suggestions, all of which have in turn caused you to think a certain way, only for you to end up just as you thought you would. For as a man thinks in his heart so he becomes (Prov 23:7).
Having been reminded of the mighty influence that our choice of friends has on the outcome of our lives, it is only wise for us to take the time to evaluate the nature and quality of our frienships on a regular basis. This sort of evaluation is what a ‘Frienship Audit’ entails.
What then is a ‘Friendship Audit’?
” You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
A friendship audit as I mentioned above is simply any process by which we evaluate the health and quality of our friendships. Since it’s a process of examining or evaluating or assessing our friendships, a friendship audit requires that we ask the kinds of vital questions about our friends and friendships that help us see a true picture of what such relationships are doing to us.
Such questions include:
1. Is my friendship with this person helping me to grow up spiritually or is this person a drag on my spiritual growth?
2. Do I and this person still share the same values, goals, aspirations and visions? If we don’t, what’s the point maintaining this friendship?
How about you ask yourself both questions. What are your answers? Are the answers to any or both of the questions above in the positive?, then PLEASE celebrate those wonderful people who love and encourage you to pursue God and His purposes for your life.
However, if your answer to any or both of the questions above are in the negative, wisdom demands that you take steps to greatly reduce the amount of time you spend with such a person or if necessary, completely disassociate ourselves from such a person. There’s no good reason why you should persist in maintaining a relationship that’s only turned into a burden or a spiritual drain. That’s just plain stupidity #NoOffense. Why? Because at the end each one of us has a life of their own and each one of us would someday give an account to our heavenly father as to how we each spent our own life. If we allow another to keep us from succeeding, we’d be the ones to blame for failing to disassociate ourselves from such a person..
Wait. I’m not saying we should ditch our friends when they’re in need of our help whether financially or otherwise. Nor am I saying we should be cold heartless people who can’t stand the idiosyncrasies of others. No. I’m just suggesting that you learn to evaluate your friendships from time to time and that you possess the courage to end relationships that are not adding spiritual, intellectual and emotional value to your life. Aside from the covenant relationship of marriage, no other relationship is indispensable. It doesn’t mean you don’t love people. It just means that you have enough Jesus sense to only keep a select few as your close confidantes. Even Jesus who himself is the embodiment of love, loves the whole world, but calls only those who choose to love him, think like him and act like him, his friends (John 15:14). The same should be true for us.
As Dr Myles Munroe puts it
“Healthy relationships should always begin at the spiritual and intellectual levels – the levels of purpose, motivation, interests, dreams,and personality.”
Selah. Pause and calmly think about that.
Life is too short and God’s purposes for us are too important for us to carelessly allow the wrong people to much access to our ears and hearts by spending too much time with them. I hope you give heed to this advice. Shalom!!
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