Antics of A Desperate Single Sister
- Claiming, Marriage, Searching, Single lady, Single man, Singleness, Um=nmarried, Wedding
- February 9, 2015
Brother Unmarried walks into the church, goes to the balcony and sits in a certain spot. Several unmarried women notice him at the same time but none say anything. The women in question are Sister Blue Shoes, Sister Black Shoes, Sister Red Shoes, and Sister High Heels. All are single, over 25 and quite available and hopeful for a husband.
The next week they look up and notice him again. The brother is alone again—, and no ring on his left finger. And he’s not bad to look at either. On top of that, he’s toting a bible that looks quite worn. He must be serious about the Lord!
Week three, he appears again, Bible in hand, eyes focused on the pastor.
Week four…….he must be a new member of the church and he sits in the same general area
week after week after week.
But there is only one problem – He’s not very sociable. He just keeps his eyes on the service! Church is over and the pastor says, As you depart, hug your neighbor. And wouldn’t you know it, he turns around and hugs Sister Blue Shoes. Then as he heads for the door, he smiles at sister Red Shoes and waves goodbye to Sister Black Shoes. As he heads out towards his car, he politely begins a conversation with Sister High Heels who is walking in the same direction and wishes her a pleasant day as she arrives at her car. Brother Unmarried gets into his car, turns onto his favorite gospel station, and heads home.
He arrives home, walks through the door and immediately calls his fiancée (Sister Chosen) who is presently in her last year of medical school in Alabama. He loves her dearly. They have known each other since 7th grade. And they had agreed that after she completed medical school they would marry. Fortunately she will graduate in just 7 more months.
Wow. Time’s flying. He already has purchased the ring and will present it to her on her graduation day. The wedding plans are complete!
Hello …. The sound of Sister Chosen’s voice awakens him from his daydream. He goes on to tell her about the fact that he is enjoying his new job and that he has found a good church. In fact, he is thinking about joining the church but wants to wait for her to come to town so she can visit the church and see whether or not she likes it.
They talk for another half hour and they end the conversation. He smiles to himself, thanking the Lord for such a wonderful woman!
MEANWHILE in Sister Blue Shoes’ House……..
Sister Blue Shoes has been excited for the past several weeks. She just cannot stop thinking about Brother Unmarried. And she cannot stop meditating on the fact that out of all the women in the church whom he could have hugged, he actually hugged her! No, that could not possibly be coincidence. No way. That was fate! The Lord led him to sit in front of her that Sunday and it must have been the Lord who led him to turn around and hug her! Sister Blue Shoes cannot contain her excitement a moment longer.
She calls her best friend. Check out the conversation:
Sister Blue Shoes: Girrrrl, you are going to be a maid of honor soon!
Best Friend: What’s going on, Blue Shoes?
Sister Blue Shoes: That brother I was telling you about—the single
brother who’s been attending church every Sunday. Girl, he was sitting beside a single woman in church today. In fact he was surrounded by single women but when the pastor said for us to hug our neighbor, he hugged me. Can you believe that? He could have hugged the sister who was sitting right beside him but he chose to hug me. ME, girl!
Best Friend: Now, that is nobody but the Lord!
Sister Blue Shoes: I know! And the strangest feeling went through me as I was hugging him. I felt like I was hugging my husband! It’s God. He spoke to me and told me that I was hugging my husband!
Best Friend: I stand in agreement with you on that!
Sister Blue Shoes: He’s mine. I claim him in the name of Jesus. I know he’s mine!
Meanwhile, in Brother Unmarried’s house….
Brother Unmarried is still thinking about his fiancée, Sister Chosen. He wants to call her back and talk some more but it’s getting late and the phone bill is going to be astronomical again this month! He thinks about it and….oh, well. Fifteen more minutes won’t hurt. Before he knows it, he’s calling his future queen yet again!
And in Sister Black Shoes’ House, Another Scenario…
I just met my future husband this week. I had been checking him out for the past several weeks. I had a feeling in my spirit that he was my husband when I first laid eyes on him but it was confirmed today. As we were exiting the church, he looked me right in the eyes and waved at me!!!!!!!!!!! Whew! Now, of all the women in that church, he waved at me. It’s interesting because he waved in a very familiar manner, as though he has known me for years. YES, this is my ordained mate. I just know it.
And in Sister Red Shoes’ House………
Hey, mom! Guess what! My future husband smiled at me today in church! Yep, it’s that guy I told you about. He’s been coming to church for the past few weeks. I knew he was my husband the moment I looked at him but today he actually smiled at me on our way out of the church. Can you believe that? All those gorgeous women in church but he did not smile at any of them. He smiled at ME!!!!!!!!
And in Sister High Heels’ House……
Sister High Heels: Hey Prophetess Angie, I stopped by to speak to you because something serious happened today! Do you remember about a year ago you prophesied to me that I would meet my husband when I least expected to? Guess what? I met him today. You were right!!!
Prophetess Angie: Yes, as a matter of fact, I believe you are going to be married within the next year! What happened, girl?
Sister High Heels: The next year???!!! Lord, I need to sit down because I’m so overwhelmed I might fall out!
Prophetess Angie: Let me get you some juice. Just calm down.
Sister High Heels: For the past several weeks a very handsome gentleman has been sitting in the section of the church that I always sit in. It’s funny because as big as that church is, why is he sitting in my section, way up there in the balcony?
Prophetess Angie: You don’t even have to finish your sentence. As I was praying for you last weekend, I sensed that you were about to meet your husband. You met him, didn’t you?!
Sister High Heels: YES!!!!
Prophetess Angie: As I was praying for you, I saw his face. He has medium brown skin, is handsome, and under 6 feet tall, right?
Sister High Heels: Girl, YES! He is about 5’10” in height, slender, dresses in really nice suits, is very clean cut. You saw him?
Prophetess Angie: Sure did. I saw him in a vision. He was walking beside you…
Sister High Heels: What! Girl, that is exactly what happened in church! Your vision was right. Of all the women he could have chosen to walk to their cars, he walked me to my car. I cannot even remember what we talked about because my heart was beating so fast. And I did not even ask him his name…
Prophetess Angie: We are going out tomorrow looking for wedding dresses. We claim him for you! Don’t tell anybody else because they will think you are crazy but we are going to start your wedding plans tomorrow!!!!!
Sister High Heels: Get me some tissues. I am about to cry….
Meanwhile, in Brother Unmarried’s House ……….
Brother Unmarried: I cannot wait for you to get here in town. I just miss you so much………
Sister Chosen: I look forward to seeing you too. Thank God I’m almost through with medical school. We then can proceed with our life plans…
Brother Unmarried: Yes, ma’am! I hope our future children look just like you. You are the most beautiful woman on the entire planet……
The Following Sunday, in Church ……
Sister Blue Shoes, Red Shoes, Black Shoes, and High Heels all scurry to their seats, each hoping that Brother Unmarried will arrive soon. Although they have seen each other in passing, none of the women know each other. None of them have even a clue about the fact that each one has set their “aim” on Brother Unmarried and that they each have “claimed” him as their husbands.
They also have no idea that he is engaged and very much in love with Sister Chosen. Praise and worship service begins but none of the women can concentrate. Each are checking, waiting, hoping that Brother Unmarried will arrive soon.
Praise and worship ends and still no sign of Brother Unmarried. Pastor says the morning prayer, service officially begins, the sermon is uplifted, the altar call, the benediction….what happened to Brother Unmarried?
Meanwhile, at the other church across town…..
Brother Unmarried decided to visit his uncle’s church this week—the 10:30 service. As he enters the sanctuary with his aunt and uncle, he sees a woman smiling at him. She nods her head at him. He smiles back, sits down beside his uncle, and enjoys the service, not knowing that the sister who just nodded is secretly aiming and claiming him as her future husband!
For the next 3 weeks…..
Over the next several weeks Brother Unmarried visits several other churches with various friends and relatives. He has decided to take his fiancée’s advice. She told him not to make any rash decisions about joining a new church just yet, but to visit several….
Tortured Minds at the original church…
All of the sisters are confused about what’s going on with their future husband. Sister Blue Shoes, Red Shoes, High Heels, and Black Shoes all have been looking out for Brother Unmarried…having problems concentrating on the services because they just don’t know where their future husband could be.
Sister Black Shoes…..
It’s been several months since I saw Brother Unmarried. The devil is hiding my husband from me. I’m going to continue to pray and stand for him to return…….maybe I should fast for a few days.
Sister Red Shoes…….
Mom, I don’t know what’s going on. I have not seen my future husband in months! I am keeping him uplifted in prayer.
Sister Blue Shoes……
I am confused. I don’t know what happened to Brother Unmarried. I think I saw him coming into the church as I was leaving but I’m not sure that was him…One thing I do know though: He is definitely my husband! He’ll be back.
Sister High Heels…..
Sister High Heels: Thanks for stopping by, Prophetess Angie. It’s now been 1 month and I’ve only seen Brother Unmarried a few times in church in all this time. What’s going on?
Prophetess Angie: Just stand. Your patience is being tested by the Lord. Don’t waver. Keep the faith. We already have that gorgeous gown picked out and hidden in your closet. I know you are going to be wearing that gown and those lovely shoes soon. We’ve picked out the caterer that you will use, etc. Just be still. Just concern yourself with the guest list!
Meanwhile, on a beach in Mexico…
Brother MARRIED: Our wedding was so beautiful!
Sister Chosen: Yes, it was! Can you believe this? We’ve been together since we were in junior high school and now we finally are man and wife. I’m so happy!
The Newlyweds Arrive Home….
Brother MARRIED and Sister Chosen walk into the church, hand-in-hand. They have a seat. This is Sister Chosen’s first time visiting her new husband’s church but he told her that of all the churches he has visited, this is the one he likes the most.
In the balcony Sister Red Shoes, Blue Shoes, Black Shoes, and High Heels peer over, looking downstairs. Each of them squint their eyes. They all think the same thoughts. NO, that guy looks like him but it can’t be him because Brother Unmarried is always alone when he comes here but there is a woman beside him—and he’s holding her hand!
Sister Red Shoes cannot stand the suspense. She gets up and goes downstairs and seats herself directly behind the two. She needs to know if this is really him, her future husband.
As the pastor instructs the church to stand and greet one another, Brother Unmarried turned around and spoke to several people, including her— but…..there was no recognition in his eyes. Doesn’t he remember smiling at her in church last year?
Then……….the unthinkable happened. Sister Chosen turned and spoke to her and Sister Red Shoes caught a glimpse of the breathtaking diamond ring on Sister Chosen’s finger.
Determined to get to the bottom of things, Sister Red Shoes decided to take action:
Sister Red Shoes: Oh, what a lovely ring!
Sister Chosen: Thanks! My husband designed it himself and surprised me with it! I’m a newlywed. This is my husband, Jeff. My name is Rayna and this is my first visit to this church. My husband had been telling me about this church while I’ve been away at medical school. Now I see why he loves it so much. Everyone’s so friendly!
Sister Red Shoes: [heart sinking and forced smile]
Oh, congratulations and welcome to the church! You two make a beautiful couple—and girl, that heart shaped rock is going to blind someone. It’s huge and just gorgeous!
Over the next several weeks the other women all see Rayna and Jeff entering and exiting the church together, holding hands. It is obvious that they are newly married and happily so. Oh, well. Another false alarm. Another disappointment. Another unanswered prophecy. Another shattered dream. Another wasted hope….
And the moral of the story?
Ladies, stop “aiming and claiming” men. Let the men set their aims on you. Let them target you. Keep your mind focused on the service. Don’t assume that just because a brother sits next to you or smiles at you, or befriends you—that he is interested in you.
More than likely, he is not interested in a relationship. He is simply being friendly, which is what brotherly love is all about!
All over the country, unsuspecting men are being “claimed” as husbands. These brothers would be shocked to know that anywhere from 5 to 10 women in their churches have possibly targeted them as husbands. All of the women have the same story. They KNOW in their hearts, souls, minds and spirits that the man is their husband.
How many wives can one man have? And most of the men probably have girlfriends who either attend other churches or who are out of town at the moment.
There is a man shortage but that does not mean that women need to set their aims and claims on any available brother whom they happen to see. That needs to stop.
Have you seen a brother in church whom you believe is your husband? Guess what?
You are not alone. Several other women see him as a husband also! Are you following my line of thought?
I heard a preacher say that in his church a woman approached a man, put her hands on the man and exclaimed, “I claim you as my husband in the name of Jesus.” The man was shocked, to say the least (especially since he DIDN’T WANT HER)
Something is wrong with that picture.
Sisters, let go and let God. He still can supply all of your needs in accordance with His riches in glory.
– AUTHOR UNKNOWN
I stumbled upon this humorous story online & thought I’d share it on my blog.
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