DISCUSSION: But for our genotypes, we’d be married


Though married for several years, Toyin’s heart aches for the love that she sacrificed for the sake of her unborn children. Now stuck in an unhappy marriage, she sometimes wonders if that sacrifice was worth it.

“Maybe I and Femi should have ‘taken the risk’ and forged ahead in faith. After all, there was only a 25% chance that each one of our children would have ended up with the SS genotype’. Now I’m stuck. Stuck in a marriage I regret. And Femi… Oh my Femi. We really should have given our love a chance!”


To put it simply (and as I understand it), genotype represents the different forms of a gene that an individual has with respect to a specific trait/characteristics.

The three major groups of genotype include: AA, AS, And SS-where A stands for the normal form of the gene while S stands for the abnormal/sickly mutation of the gene.

Thus, If you are AA and you marry someone who is AS, you have a 50 % chance of having AA or AS per birth. But If as AA, you marry SS, all your children will be AS, since you stand a 100% chance of having AS per birth.

However, if you are AS and you marry someone who’s AS, you have a 25% chance of having AA or SS and a 50% chance of having AS per birth. But If an AS marries a SS, there’s a 50% chance of AS or SS per birth.

Finally, Sickle cell disease is a very serious health condition which is often fatal. It happens when an individual inherits two abnormal genes-one from each parent.


My question here is simple,

Did Toyin and Femi do the right thing by giving up on their relationship for FEAR that they’d bear children with the Sickle cell anemia?

Couldn’t they have proceeded with their relationship, trusting God to help ensure that non of their children ends up being SS? After all, there was a 75% chance that non of their children would have ended up with Sickle cell anemia.

And even if they’d defied the odds and got married in faith, only to bear a child with the SS genotype, Isn’t true love strong enough to overcome the issues that would arise in having to take care of such a child?


Thanks for taking out the time to join the discussion by sharing your comments 😉



Twitter: @ify_ngozikaa

Facebook: Ifeoma Nkem-Gbemudu

Email: singifeoma@yahoo.com






  • Ibukun Akinola

    Well….. God is good. This is my own opinion
    1- love is good and all that comes with it bt we need to know that having kids is more than love. It’s responsibility.
    Taking care of a child that is SS is so much work. And even if the 2 pple think dey are up to the task, THINK about the emotional and psychological trauma the CHILD would always go through. The pain after every attack. The cultural stigma. A young lady that is SS and manages it to her 20’s would have the esteem issue of having to find a partner that is ready to risk his own happiness to fall in love with someone that can get sick and can leave earth anytime if it is not properly managed. ‘Who will love me’ is what would be going through her mind. Even if a man truly loves her and is willing to be with her, will his family accept it.

    In as much as love is strong, let’s remember that it is more than the two lovers, other lives are involved. Life that THE KIDS didn’t choose for themselves.

    2- God can do anything if u ask him to. And believe that whatever reply he gives you, he wants to bring glory out of it.

    Ibukun Akinola

  • David

    Just read the comment by Ibukun Akinola. Nice! In ADDITION to the above comment, I think divine direction will go a long way. Love is good; divine direction makes it ‘gooder’ lol.
    Also, Jesus came for the person that may be with the SS too. Psalm 112:2 comes to mind. ‘His seed shall be mighty’. Sickness isn’t being mighty for a child.
    In the case were God is involved via divine direction, our God is a God of Wonders.
    As I said earlier, love is good, divine direction makes it ‘gooder’, whether with SS or not in this case.

    • singifeoma

      Thanks David. But if I get u correctly, u’re saying that of God is the one leading u into that relationship, then He will work a miracle by giving u children free of Sickle cell…am ii right?

  • David

    Yep yep!!!

  • Jemila

    Divine direction is indeed gooder! To me it boils down to your faith, do you truly believe God for the situation without wavering.
    I and my partner were both AS and we believed God that our children were going to be SS free but along the line he started wavering, instead of letting his actions affect my faith, I chose to believe God for my own change of genotype, after several test showing I was AS, I kept believing God until all other subsequent test started showing I am AA.
    So if your faith can carry it why not? After all God determines the sex of the children is it so difficult for him to determine their genotype to your favour?

    • singifeoma

      Hallelujah!!! Thanks Jemila for the testimony. Hmmm… May God help us have faith for the seemingly impossible. God bless u and that ur partner… Must sure know he’s marrying a woman of God.

    • vivian

      thanks for sharing your testimony dear. when i say i’m believing God for my own genotype change, i smtimes doubt too.but u sure will cling to my faith in God. i key into your testimony dear. thamk god for your miracle and also rember me in your prayers dear…..cheers

  • Azo

    I really think they should pray extensively about it and until one or both of their genotypes is miraculously changed like in jemila’s case, they should not attempt marriage.d constant crisis and pain of an ss child is not something any parent would one to go through and not to mention d child itself.sometimes for some reason, God decides not to intervene in some particular situations.if you have faith, sure he can heal but d question is WILL HE? it may not be his will for some reason HE alone knows so in my opinion if d miracle doesn’t come, Pls do not attempt marriage.

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