Must He Propose On One Knee Or Not?

Ify whenever I’m ready to propose to her, I’ll make sure I don’t have to kneel.”

Man of God. Why not?” I responded. “What’s so bad or terrible about kneeling to propose to her? She may be expecting you to, you know?”

He just smiled to me and said “whether she expects it or not. I can’t kneel to ask her to marry me. A whole me, kneel down? No way Ify.”

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I know I was suprised my friend thought it too much, for him to go on one knee to propose marriage to the lady he claimed to love. Maybe its because with all the media hype around marriage proposals these days, I’ve just unconsciously found myself thinking;

that’s the way men ought to propose and that’s what all ladies expect.”

But more importantly though, our conversation caused me to ask a few questions, which I’ve in turn though wise to ask you;

a. What exactly is the origin of this tradition of men going on one knee to propose marriage?

b. What’s the significance of that posture? By kneeling before her, what unspoken message is the guy trying to communicate?

c. Do you think its ABSOLUTELY COMPULSORY the guy proposes marriage to the love of his life on one or both knees? 😍

^^^

So there, what answers have you got especially to my third question?

As an individual, personally speaking, do you think it’s ABSOLUTELY COMPULSORY a guy proposes marriage on one or both knees?

What are your reasons for your stance?

Thanks for dropping your opinions and insights in the comment box below…xoxo

^^^

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  • Shalom Truths

    Well, my dad recently said something similar about why should a guy kneel. I am sure he knelt down for my mum tho…lolz…For me its not complusory but I think “some brothers” make some statements from a “proud” point of view. I have heard if I ask her once she says no I won’t ever ask and so many other statements. The kneeling down for me is more like a plea – come into my life kind of thing. Its a kind of honour for the lady. Plus during the traditional wedding the woman gets to kneel on both legs for the man. If you don’t want to kneel its fine but why? I always ask why are you doing something and why are you not. If you are doing it and you don’t know the essence then its wrong and if you now check and such statement is from pride and male ego then I think that its not needed. If you check and you have the right motive then stand if you must to ask her. I think I have seen a few standing proposals. Looking at it also from another point of view some brothers say if its not in the bible why should I do it? For them there could be exceptions. Just know why you do what you do.

    • singifeoma

      Thanks dear. The reason behind the action is more important than the action itself.

    • Jeremie

      lool @ ‘during the traditional wedding the woman gets to kneel on both legs for the man’ and @ ‘if You don’t want to kneel its fine but why?’

  • Tyto

    I don’t think its all that compulsory. but if the reason for the guy not wanting to go on his knee is pride…. i.e. he cant just imagine himself kneeling for his babe… hmmm because in the marriage he would have to make some serious sacrifice to see her happy that would be worse than getting on one knee… but like i said its not a compulsory act. some babes do not even fancy it.

    • singifeoma

      Tyto.. You’re so right about the fact that on the trad wedding he’ll have to do things that are alot ‘worse’ than getting on one knee 😜

  • Ikechukwu Chukwurah

    Well to me it is not compulsory for the man to kneel down nd propose. You can be having a dinner with her and u ask for her finger and then propose while sitting down. I just believe proposing shud come from the heart.

  • Grayz

    Well I think the kneeling down ish is the white man culture. N i tink its just a way to show respect and plea for their luv. Although it shouldn’t be compulsory, but most ladies are acutually expecting it, as a sign that he trully wants her in her life. I hope your friend is not saying it out of pride sha, cos if its out of pride then he has gotten it all wrong. Even the bible kinda surport it in a way cos “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord” means that the guy has found d person that will bring favour his way forever, so he can show it buy that kneeling n making her know she is worth the kneeling. Like i said earlier, its not ompulsory though, as for me, if my guy kneels or not d ansa will still be yes, wen he is ready. I am not bothered by that.
    But hey guys, that the only time u will eva kneel for her, so why not make her feel that special on that one day!!!

  • milakpanja

    I am not so sure there is a specific on how it started but reports have speculated ties to the Vikings, the Catholic church and some to the medieval times. I believe it’s a sign of respect, honour and surrender to the lady. Out of the so many billions of women you chose that lady, then she is worth kneeling for. She is coming into your life to help you!!! Haba.
    I also believe in little things that speak volumes, it may seem so simple to kneel down, but your spouse may cherish that a lot. So if as a man you don’t want to do it, think about how happy it could make your lady.

  • Owen

    Well, I must say that I myself have being pondering on the unspoken, invisible force behind kneeling to propose to a lady. I am still pondering tho! But I’m glad to see someone also asking the questions as I am. Maybe when I get to that bridge in my life I’ll know. ; )

  • David

    Well… do I think its compulsory? Lemme just type what I think atm. Love can make people do crazy things lol. Maybe kneeling down with one or both knees is crazy.
    Love will give me an idea on how I will propose. Until then though, kneeling is great. Nothing wrong with it. I fancy it. I will gladly do it. Is it compulsory? Not really. Not becos of pride. Maybe becos I could do something crazier.

  • Blessing Egbodo

    Not necessarily, he could come up with other creative ways of proposing..

  • Ikhide

    I think your MOG friend has a few things to learn about treating a lady right….his response hints at some form of pride… I stand to be corrected anyways.

    As far as I’m concerned, kneeling to propose is no big deal. In the process of getting to know her, you must have found out what kinda gestures she treasures and if she’s the type that’d value this, by all means, kneel! Love is about doing what the other person values, not just what we feel comfortable with.

  • Benjamin

    1) ” Kneeling to propose marriage is a tradition that has its roots in medieval times, when knights kneeled with their left knees down and right knees up when being knighted by royalty. They also kneeled as a gesture of servitude to their masters and mistresses.”
    Evendoh thre are other varyin historical origins this seems to make more sens to me.

    2) Well for me kneelin to propose is a kinda plea that shows hw dead serios one is that is hwfa one is willin to go for wat he wants. plus it conveys honour, humility and respect. the yorubas even take to another level wen they “Dobaale”
    so dependin on hw much one loves & respect his future wife u cld even do somtin crazier

    3) I dnt see it as somtin compulsory but a gesture well deserved by a lady especialy a potential wife.

  • Onazi

    Kneeling to propose sounds kind of Corny (feels like am acting up) to me because i see no reason for it, all in all for me the question is why? I am already asking her to Marry me and become a part of my Life because i think she is an Awesome person and i believe in her. I may, I may not doesn’t change what is in my heart for the Lady….. Because i still Love her.

  • vic

    I tink it is a personal thing,my hubby didnt kneel bt asked & did it in a very romantic way,i didnt tink anytin of it at dat time (as i was so drunk in luv.lol) neither do i c anytin wrong nw in him nt kneeling,to me its a personal thing,bt i tink d reason y it is so popular is that it has bece a thing of culture which has been programmed into d human mind,d girl dreams of d guy proposing while Kneeling,while d guy is under pressure of if i kneel she will be carried away & say yes,& if i dnt,she may get angry or say no,my take is GUYS, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!!!.LOL.

  • Jeremie

    9ice question/write-up Superfly-Ify. I won’t kneel down though…not outta pride. I think it’s the culture of a particular pple we’re tryna make a universal norm.

    Someone ‘suggests’ that men kneel to propose because women kneel for the men @ the traditional wedd….1) The white lady never gets to kneel cos there’s no trad. Why’s there no big deal about it over there? Because it’s not their culture. 2) IF it’s a western-Nigerian wedding, the man gets to LIEDOWN with his friends @ introduction. Point is, it’s just a cultural thing.

    I’ll do the one that works for me with a pure motive at that moment. It’s not good to have a fixed/rigid mind about it though. Be spontaneous and ORIGINAL at that moment…that’s the beauty of being romantic. There’s no need kneeling if You no sabi do am. If your own na to lie down, lie down…just be spontaneous and original.

  • Tayo Ajiboye

    Too much ego.

    Here’s what I believe everyone needs to know about romantic relationships: you should be able to do stuff FOR THE SOLE REASON that the other person would love it. I will propose on one knee. In public. The reason is that most ladies would love that public show of “I’m yours, and I’m all yours.” I’ll do it, just because she would most likely love it. Period.

    Do things for the other person. Sometimes, it shouldn’t matter whether or not you like it.

  • Pati Bulama

    Quite an interesting topic, I want to believe that the practice of kneeling on one knee to make a wedding proposal started from the old English tradition were you commit to a lady on your knees with a ring. When you kneel before an English man, you present your self in total humility if you are from a noble home or you are a subject to him if you are a commoner.

    As regards wedding proposals, kneeling symbolises humility and submitting to a purpose by a man. A man can easily relinquish his wealth than his pride or ego, because it is more difficult to get that back. By doing so, you show a lady that you can drop the most valuable things to you as a man (your pride and ego)and that she will appreciate more because she knows you can afford the ring. If a Prince will go on his knees for a lady asking her hand in marriage, then it will be the most special thing to her than any aspect of the proposal.

    It is not compulsory to go on your knees to propose to a lady, after all is not our tradition but if you search carefully into your native culture and tradition. You will find out that there are action a man does to prove his love and commitment to a lady, some take plenty strokes of kane, others enbark on an adventure, some lay down to greet relatives in public and so on. I believe men should at least do something memorable and special while asking a girl to marry them because such moments linger for a long time in a womans head.

    So guys, let’s come up with more creative way of proposing to a lady if we are tired of going down on one knee.

  • dharmmy

    I have this idea that if a man nails his proposal to a vitreous woman, that would be one of the things she would remember when: she is sooo mad @ him, she needs to forgive him and doesn’t know where to start or she needs a reminder that there is a good guy inside of him.

    what’s my point? he doesn’t have to kneel down, but the reason had better be that; he has a busted knee, kneeling is not in his DNA, it didn’t occur to Him or that the person he wants to kneel down for, doesn’t care much about that.
    However, it had better not be pride, else, he is so not ready to get married cuz when she is pregnant she will so require much more than him kneeling……

  • Uti Marvin

    Wow, so many reasons to kneel or not to, the importance of this kneeling down to propose thing is just taken too seriously. I believe it’s based on how you feel at that moment, if u feel kneeling down would help buttress your feelings then do it but if not, then why? The crux of the matter is, does it come from a place of love?

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